“The best” civil engineering jokes in the industry

We handpicked a few civil engineering in-jokes we found online. Use them if you need to break the ice in conversations about sustainable profitability. Or not… Hold your seats!

 
A uniform beam walks into a bar.
The barman asks: “What would you like, sir?”
The beam replies: ‘Ummm… just give me a moment.”

 
Coarse Aggregate says: “Hey Sand, how are you?”
Sand replies: “I’m fine.”

 
What’s the difference between a doctor and an engineer?
A doctor kills people one at a time.

 
What did one wall say to another?
Meet you at the corner.

 
What do you call a fear of overly engineered buildings?
Complex complex complex.

 
You might be an engineer if…
You think that when people around your yawn, it’s because they did not get enough sleep.

 
What do you call a snake that builds houses?
A boa constructor.

 
A scaffolder accidentally cuts of his ear.
He yells down to another worker: “Hey, look for my ear, I just cut it off!”
A bit later, the worker calls up and asks: ‘Is this your ear?”
The scaffolder looks down and says: ‘No! Mine had a pencil behind it.”

 
What kind of bird works on a construction site?
A crane.

 
What do you call the child of a civil engineer?
A truss fund baby.

 
What is the civil engineer’s favorite kind of tea?
Structural integritea.

 
Let us know if you know any better jokes, we will share them online.